Tag Archives: sex education

08Apr/19
Black Owned Healthcare Practice

Self Love Series | Black Owned Healthcare Practice Targets Sexual Health and Education

Black Owned Healthcare Practice

Vontrese at her practice.

“Everyone is doing it (sex) but nobody is talking about it.” I hear Vontrese Warren, nurse practitioner and fellow Louisville Central High school alum, explain. As a writer covering self-love and seeing sex as a part of that, I felt it important that Vontrese shares her story and the importance of sexual/reproductive health. Besides being a credible resource on the topic, Vontrese also co-owns her own healthcare practice (with Cynthia Parker) in west Louisville, KY. Their Black-owned healthcare practice focuses on reproductive health and education. West Louisville is not known to have many Black-owned healthcare businesses, especially not considering its population demographics.

Dapper Dr. Feel (DDF): What made you become a nurse practitioner? 

Vontrese Warren (VW): I have always wanted to be in the health field since I was a child, I really wanted to be a neurosurgeon. I attended Moorhead State University as a pre-med/chemistry major but realized it wasn’t for me and changed my major. That’s when I decided I wanted to be an obstetrician and went to nursing school. Once I completed the nursing bachelor’s program, I got a job working at UK (University of Kentucky) hospital in the labor and delivery department. For the next ten years, I held jobs at UK hospital, Medical University of North Carolina, and Baptist Health Louisville.

“I early conceived a liking for and sought every opportunity to relieve the sufferings of others.” – Rebecca Lee Crumpler (The first African American Woman to earn a medical degree)

FYI: Crumpler, like Like Vontrese Warren, was a nurse for 10 years before she furthered her education and practice.  

DDF: What made you go into reproductive education? 

VW: After being on call on holidays during the summer and spring break when most families are on vacation and realized I’m missing out on family events like some of my sons’ events, I decided that I didn’t like the current lifestyle/schedule. I decided to go in another direction. It was at this point I decided to get my master’s in nursing at the University of Cincinnati. While studying nursing, I also studied sex counseling.

Black Owned Healthcare Practice

When you put yourself in a specialty, you put yourself in a bubble, like, a family nurse practitioner can get a job anywhere. However, I knew what I wanted to do and I didn’t want a job just anywhere.

It was difficult finding a job that fit me. Job after job, I searched and they were either already taken or not a good fit for me. I finally found a job at a doctors office where we performed aesthetic care which included weight loss management and reproductive care. This was right up my alley but it still didn’t work out.

After two years looking to find a job, I thought, if I can’t find a job I am going to make a job. So that’s what I did.

“…somewhere in your life, there has to be a passion. There has to be some desire to go forward. If not, why live?” –Alexa Canady (The first African American Neurosurgeon) 

DDF: What is the importance of sexual health education, outside of just grade school? 

VW: As I mentioned, everybody is doing it but nobody wants to talk about it. When people are talking about it, they are not discussing correct information. Like my son is in second grade, you have kids in third grade and up talking about sex but what are they saying?  

Even when it comes to the parents or grandparents sharing old wives tales about sex, these aren’t backed with education or studies. So, I like to inform people to give them the direction to go. If you are doing it the right way and have a good knowledge base, then you are better off in any relationship with your own sexual health and whomever your partner is.

“Talk to her about sex, and start early. It will probably be a bit awkward, but it is necessary.” Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, author of Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

DDF: Do you have male patients as well? 

Both women and men are patients, but I have more women patients because I provide more for women. It just depends on the type of venue.

DDF: How important is sexual health and sex education to self-love? 

If you are unhealthy in any aspect, you have to take some accountability on why you are like that. Why aren’t you as healthy as you can be? You know what can be done and/or can seek the resources to help yourself.

DDF: What are your goals, both short term and long term? 

VW: My goal both short and long term is to educate the community on reproductive health and let people know that there are resources out there. Here in West Louisville, there are not too many businesses, let alone healthcare, but that’s why I have my services here.

If you are in the Kentucky area, visit Vontrese at her business:

Warren & Williams Health C.A.R.E., PLLC

2600 West Broadway, Suite 208, Louisville, Kentucky 40211, United States

Contact: [email protected]

Tel: (502) 653-9716 or (502) 309-4432

18Feb/17
vulva

“Vulva what… Vulva who?” A Lesson on the Yoni

The vulva… Is this actually the name of a human body part, or a European car???

vulvaMany people, both women and men, are clueless to what a vulva actually is and how nature has especially packaged a woman’s sexual organ/region in its entirety. For the sake of the evolution of humanity, I, Zahabu King, your Womb Sistar, will loving lift the darkened cloak that veils the light of our Goddess goodies! To get started, and for technical reasons the following list ensues…

The vulva consists of:
outer labia
inner labia
clitoris
clitoral hood
urethra opening
vagina opening

vulva

Before I give definition to these medical/traditional friendly terms used for our lovely lady parts below, allow me to indulge you with some enchanting poetic allegory (also found in the “What’s in a name” chapter in my first book: EROTICA for Dummies!) once commonly known in the East to gracefully glorify and describe the vulva/vagina.

Descriptive words like:
yoni
peach
honey pot
open melon
pleasure palace
valley of joy
suga walls
secret garden
lotus flower
jungle of love

And just for the fun of it, and startling contrast of it, I’ll throw in the commonly sexy, yet often times derogatory Western terms, used to describe the female genitalia.

Descriptive words like: pussy, cunt, coochie, punany, pumpum, venus fly trap, poontang, fuck hole, snatch, and hair pie, etc… you get the point… LOL!

Now that we’ve got that out of the way… giggles 🙂 Let’s get back to the vulva at hand… Oops… I mean… matter at hand!

Get open minded and ready yourself to absorb this knowledge and eclectic defining of our vulvas. Now, words can only explain but so much, so here’s where I have to insist that you take a deep breath, and in the comforting privacy of your own home, grab a hand held mirror, lay on your back propping your pretty lil’ head atop your soft, plush pillows and spread those lovely legs of yours eagle style… meaning, spread em’ wide! It’s time to free yourself from fear and shame and take a good long look at what you’ve been blessed with. C’mon & shine that over-due light of reverence on your sexual anatomy with self-love, respect, and admiration!

There you will find:

1) Outer labia – Two sensitive (even sexually sensitive) folds of skin and fatty tissue that are bare for adolescent girls, and once puberty is reached, covered with pubic hair for young to older women. These are sometimes referred to as “love shields”, protect and conceal the rest of the vulva that resides inside of the outer labia. It is common for the outer labia to be described as “lips”. It is also normal that these “lips” vary in size. From large or small, short or long, thick or thin, they differ as well in variations based on the amount of melanin a woman has. Women with melanin tend to have labia that range in many unique shades of brown or black. The outer labia are often sexually sensitive, and will swell during times of arousal via oral sex as well as sexual intercourse, yet some women are not turned on from their outer labia. Remember, this is all humanly normal, and is a part of what makes each woman gloriously unique.

2) Inner labia – Also known as “love wings”! These two folds of skin, go from the clitoral hood to below the vaginal opening. Again, the inner labia can range in color from pink, brown or black, which is all contingent on a woman’s ethnicity. Usually very sensitive, and prone to swelling when sexually excited, some women reach a point where their inner labia will stick out past the outer labia, revealing how beautifully wrinkled or smooth her love wings are. As mentioned above, the inner labia extends down past the vaginal opening, so having your inner labia aroused all the way down past the vaginal opening thru oral stimulation or sexual penetration can be immensely pleasurable and, in some women, even orgasmic.

3) Clitoris – Enough can’t be said about this miraculous and delectable part of the female anatomy! So much so, I will later dedicate a mini chapter based solely on the clitoris! But for now ladies, here is a succinct yet teasing synopsis. Nestled beneath the point where the inner labia meet, forms a cushy, insanely sensitive hood over the clitoris. Glans, also known as the head of the clitoris, may appear to be the size of a tiny pea. Or, in some women, the clitoris can be as juicy and plump as finger tips. All perfectly normal and all sexually healthy. Variety, is truly the spice of life! The larger than life sexual sensations and breath taking pleasures derived from clitoral stimulation, whether it’s by way of masturbation (self-pleasuring), or from the tongue teasing/oral exhilaration a.k.a cunnilingus. Direct contact to the clit feels so good it’s almost in-explainable or indirect contact by teasing around the clitoris when a woman may be too sensitive, can bring about the desired thrill seeking results. Many women experience their clitoris growing stiff and swollen when flames of passion burn hot and her journey to reaching orgasmic gratification is just a burst away.

4) The hood – Ever hear the terminology: Pop that hood? If not, then let me explain. But first, or shall I say again, the hood is a spongy protective covering of the clitoris. With infinite gorgeous variations of shape, size, and color in each and every woman, some hoods, are sizably huge and physically resemble a small penis! Wow! Once you delicately pull back the soft and fleshy hood tho’, (popping the hood…get it? LOL) visually revealed is the wee little clitoris! For women with less spongy hoods, the clit still proudly sits beneath the point where the inner labia meet, within easy reach for elation and excitation.

5) Urethra opening – One of the most elusive parts of the female genitalia is the urethra. It’s wrongly believed that it is only responsible to be a canal for releasing urine flow from a woman’s body. But… oh au contraire mon frere!!! This buried treasure, that has alluded many, is a sweet spot quite sensitive to touch. Once teased, can lead some women to coming. But hold up… wait a minute, I’ve got a very special insight for you… ready? Nestled right beneath the urethra, are two even tinier glands known as Skenes. These skenes aren’t connected to the bladder like the urethra. Rather, a woman’s skenes are connected to the female prostate as well as the “g” spot orgasm. The fluid emitted from the skenes during orgasm is a clear or sometimes milky translucent fluid. Sometimes sweet or salty in taste, depending on a woman’s diet, chemistry, hormonal levels, and time of month. Female ejaculate during a “G” spot orgasm usually, either seeps out or squirts out with a mild or powerful force. Be it that the orgasm is incited via clitoral stimulation, “G” spot stimulation, or penis… here is where the erroneous myth of female ejaculate and urine are “one in the same” comes crashing back down from the land of crazy… as it should… into the light of reality! Two different fluids, two different bodily reactions. The urethra releases human waste known as urine, while the Skene glands release ejaculation during orgasmic bliss! Let me drop another jewel of wisdom for you. Female ejaculation, is very similar to male ejaculation, minus the semen (for reproductive purposes). It’s been called many names, but respectfully known by the ancients as “nectar of life” or “fountain of youth”. For the sake of common sense, when it’s all said and done… it is good ole’ juicy CUM! It is as amazingly simple as that people! PERIOD!

6) Vaginal opening – The omnipotent sacred vagina! The direct link/passage way, connecting a woman’s vulva with the inner cervix and uterus. Truly to be seen as a divine space of the feminine, the vagina is the passage and birth canal for birthing ALL human life onto this Earthly plane! The vagina is also the unlimited pleasure haven, complete with exotic wetness and the breath taking “G” spot, it is home sweet home for the insertion and erotic sexual thrusts of a man’s penis. And magically, the vagina is the releasing center of a woman’s menstrual flow, which in and of its self, “when a woman is healthy that is” …is a perfectly organic cleaning mechanism to shed and release un-impregnated eggs and bodily toxins via blood, on a month to month basis. Starting from the onset menstrual flow of a girl who’s reached puberty, to the last menstrual flow drops of the mature woman, who is entering into the enlightening right of passage known as menopause. Never mistaken a woman’s divinity! Our bodily vessels deserve the ultimate respect and admiration, from ourselves first and then from the mates we choose as our lovers! Now… on a lighter note… well okay… maybe not! It has been written throughout time, that most wars are fought over religion, money, and VAGINA! HA! But who needs war… when we can be “Making Sweet Love” right?

7) The Anus – This part of a woman’s anatomy is beautiful and sensitive in its own right. The outer rim of the anus is very tender and rich in nerve endings. Right beyond the outer rim of the anus is the sphincter muscle, which un-like the muscles within the vaginal canal that have the dual capabilities of expanding and contracting, the sphincter muscle is designed by nature to contract. Anal play should be done in moderation, for the sphincter muscles tends to stretch and weaken. The anus is an organ of excretion, and the rectal passage way “always” has traces of bacterial waste/feces. Often women are in danger of infection when the bacteria known as ecoli that is found in the anus gets transferred inside of the vaginal canal via fingers, penis, and sex toys. The small hole at the tip of your man’s penis is known as the meatus. During penetration whether vaginal or anal, all of your bodily fluids enter into the man’s meatus, blood stream, and semen. Affection and re-affection occurs when your mate’s penal canal contains your bacterial waste/ecoli and ejaculates within your vaginal canal during sexual intercourse. The most common infection is pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) which can cause severe abdominal pain, an itchy smelly discharge, a burning sensation while urinating e.t.c. Anal love-play does provide many women with sexual delight. It is therefore of the utmost importance that cleanliness is top priority to keep womb health in tip top shape. Excessive amounts of anal penetration will eventually induce medical complications like: digestive problems, irregularity of bowel movement, and eventually cancer of the rectum. Similar to the prostate gland found in men, women have a smaller but similar gland known as the cervix which gets stimulated from the push and pull of the penis during penetration. A very thin membrane separates the cervix from the anal passage-way, which causes arousal for some women during anal penetration. For women who indulge in this sexual experience, please approach it with a conscious awareness, use generous amounts of natural lubrication like extra virgin coconut oil, and a complete avoidance of allowing ecoli and feces from entering into your womb.