Tag Archives: inspiration

04Jan/18
Unrequited Love

Unrequited Love

Unrequited Love – A feeling, especially love, not returned or rewarded.

Have you ever found yourself in love with the idea of someone loving you, while knowing that they don’t love you back? Deadass, it’s probably one of the most damaging things we can do to ourselves. Loving someone who doesn’t love us. Unrequited love is not attractive and its most definitely not romantic. The sick part is, we don’t even realize that we’re doing it until the damage is done and we are left not recognizing ourselves when we look in the mirror.

I’ve definitely found myself in that position more times than I’d like to admit. I got to a place where I was literally begging for that love in return. In the end, it never came, at least not how I wanted it to. It was cold, it was forced, and it wasn’t authentic. I had to come to the realization that loving someone, without being loved in return is not love. It’s worship. It’s self-destructing. You start questioning your self-worth, thinking that maybe the reason that love isn’t being returned, is you. When in fact, that’s not the case at all. Just like how we can’t help who we love and have feelings for, we also can’t help who we don’t love and don’t have feelings for. Unrequited love is a two-way street, and it’s unfair and selfish to blame the other person for not returning the love we’re giving if they simply don’t feel the same.

Unrequited LoveShould you ever find yourself in that position, which somewhere down the line you probably will because we’re humans and shit, self-preservation is key. Take that energy away from that person, and put it into yourself, or the person who actually does want to return your love. “Love yourself.” That shit sounds cheesy and cliche, but it’s true. Love yourself until you get to a place where even if someone doesn’t love you in return, you don’t blame yourself, and then once you get to that space, keep loving yourself. One mistake we often make after experiencing that unrequited love, is shutting down. We don’t wanna love anymore, we don’t wanna give love another chance, but we should be doing the opposite. Love wholeheartedly, love endlessly, and love without borders.

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03Jan/18
It Won't be Good in the Evening

It Won’t be Good in the Evening

If you see something is going bad in the morning, it won’t be good in the evening.

My grandma told me that a couple of days ago. And when she said it, I knew it was a gem. A lot of times I find myself ignoring the bad in someone or something, and making excuses for it in order to continue dealing with it, knowing damn well that I shouldn’t. And then when everything is said and done, and that shitty thing that I knew was shitty and was only going to produce more shit to hit the fan actually does, I can only be mad at myself.

The things that happen to us and around us, half of the time, are allowed by us. We see that something might not be the greatest thing, and we ignore the damning future that comes with it. When I noticed this behavior in myself I first chose to ignore it, which didn’t produce anything positive. Then I started being a little more cautious and being more aware of the company I kept and the things I got involved with. I started making different choices in regards to those things and I found that I’m pretty fucking smart when I actually think about who and what I’m giving my energy to.

It Won't be Good in the Evening

Not only am I smart AF, but I’m much happier now that I’m seeing the possible bad in a situation and moving with that energy, without questioning it.

 

At the end of the day, if something brings you bad energy from the jump, chuck it in the fuck it bucket, and keep it pushin’.

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01Jan/18
Black White Beautiful

Black & White and Beautiful All Over

Black White Beautiful | Black and white fashion has never left the style scene, but the powerful combination has been thrust back in the spotlight in a major way with graphic houndstooth. Virlé Cole, an online vintage fashion boutique, takes a bite out of the trend with retro clothing and accessories featuring a bold, oversize version of the unisex print splayed on distinctly ladylike pieces and silhouettes.

Discover the intrigue of the two-tone print in this photo series featuring a powerful trio of stunning black models showcasing the diverse ways to wear houndstooth. The young women in the images prove a vintage garment can produce a lifetime of glamour. Although some articles were designed before the models were born, they worked the designs in a way that appears modern, relevant and at their peak of chic.

You too can wear houndstooth or simply black and white in a number of ways. Don’t be afraid to layer monochrome pieces or top one print with another like print. As told by the runways, matchy-matchy styles and co-ords are back—just Google 2018 daytime pajama sets, matching bags and shoes, and bodysuits that fit like puzzle pieces to matching bottoms. For a quaint touch, try a houndstooth headband or bow, or pick a mod shift, polished suit, striking coat, or even sexy bustier. Any style you choose, don’t be afraid to own it and walk tall. For more vintage fashion inspiration follow @virlecole on Instagram or visit www.virlecole.com.

Black White BeautifulBettina Coleman is credited as the photo shoot stylist and owner of Virlé Cole. She selected the styles and models to inspire young women to wear the clothes of generations before them. She wants everyone to value the rich history and story that vintage clothing offers—not to mention its charm. The one-of-a-kind pieces she sells cannot be replaced by fast fashion chains or even today’s top designers. Her advice to fashionistas: Fall in love with vintage and make it yours forever.

Models | Kanae Branch, Naila Carter, Alycia Luciano
IG: @kanaezb, @theweavewhisperer, @Alycia_the_model

Wardrobe | Virlé Cole – IG @virlecole

Photographer | Adam Jackson  – IG @Adamj.photo

Makeup Artists | Doshia Kelly & Daija Smith
IG @Doshia_monae_artisty & @daijaaaaa

Stylist
Bettina Coleman

Black White Beautiful Black White Beautiful

Black White Beautiful

Black White Beautiful

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24Oct/17
As You Should Taji Mag Shallah Tiara

As You Should

I guess this one is for the ladies. I got the fellas later.

You ever find yourself not lowering your standards, but suppressing your self-worth in order to keep someone else up? Dimming your light, to keep someone else’s light bright?

I was in a situation where someone was intimidated by the fact that I loved myself, that I gassed my own head up. That I know I am a good woman, and I was well worth it. I felt like any time I would start feeling myself, they would either find a way to tear me down verbally, or be like “alright chill, that’s enough”. It’s not the fault of the other person, but rather just an eye-opener for myself to know that I was in fact too much for that person at the time. I reached a level where I enjoyed my own company, and I liked what I saw I the mirror, beyond the physical, I was happy with myself and my accomplishments. Some people don’t understand how long it took to get to that place, shit, I’m proud of myself. As I Should Be.

Ladies, do not ever let any man, or woman, make you feel like you can’t embrace the woman you are in total. If someone can’t take you loving yourself and speaking on yourself in a positive light, they should not be given the luxury of sharing your energy. You know yourself, you’re the shit and they don’t need to be taught that. Its either they get it, or get out. Do not water down the queen that you are for anyone. Chase that bag, get that degree, start that business, travel, party, influence, love, laugh. Do whatever it is that you want to do for you.

That’s another thing, don’t let people make decisions for things that impact your life. Whether it be a relationship that’s romantic or not. You have a say, you have a voice, and it should be heard and respected just as much as the other party. I’m just learning this now, but some of us women don’t know the power that we have when we love ourselves and speak positively about ourselves and our fellow queens.

When you love yourself, and the people around you, its only natural for others to gravitate towards you and reciprocate the same energy that you’re giving off. You the shit baby girl, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. Don’t let anybody trivialize your worth. Big up ya’self, as you should.

As You Should Taji Mag Shallah Tiara

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04Oct/17
Don't Sweat

Don’t Sweat The Small Shit

Let’s say some shit happens between you and somebody else. I’m talking have you wanting to throw hands, or had one too many drinks while listening to ABoogie all night type shit. Because of what happened, it’s automatically considered a bad day. At the end of that day, if I was to ask you how your day was, instead of talking about all the negative stuff, ask yourself these three questions.

1. Did it take any money out of your pocket?
2. Did it take the roof from over your head?
3. Are you or anyone you know in any physical pain or danger?

If the answer to all these questions is “NO”. Then guess what, IT DOESNT FUCKING MATTER. Why do we insist on being so ready to decide that it’s a bad day overall? Things happen, and the reality is, they’re going to keep happening. People my age have what, maybe a good 60-70 years left in this world? Come on, it’s unrealistic to think we can ever progress or move forward in life if we direct so much focus and energy towards the negative.

I won’t lie, I dead used to be that way. It was a really hard habit to get rid of, but I started to ask myself, do I really wanna be mad or sad, or any other negative emotion everyday? Hell no. I got tired of it, and I knew if I continued allowing myself to choose the negative, I would start doing that in everything else that I do. Whether it was dance, work, this blog, relationships… anything. I would always be negative.

It had to become part of my morning ritual to literally say out loud to myself, “I’m choosing to be happy today, and I’m going to make sure today is a good day”. Regardless of anything that happens, if it didn’t take your life, there’s no reason to sweat the small shit.

Don't Sweat

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01Oct/17
Bravery not Perfection

Bravery, not Perfection

Coming to terms with the importance of striving for bravery instead of perfection is what forced me to start writing. One thing all humanity shares is the acknowledgment of the certainty in the phrase, “Perfection is an illusion.”

We all understand that perfection cannot be personified. In fact, it bathes in non-existentialism:

It is as unattainable as the promises of someone who has passed away… as unrealistic as composing a 10-page paper in under an hour…And as mythical as a pill that promises a snatched waist in less than a week.

However, we still remain subconsciously attracted to, and even driven by what ends up being its shadow: we buy the diet pills and waist cinchers; and wait until Sunday night to start a paper that is due the following morning, (assigned two weeks prior).

This phenomenon affects our productivity tremendously. With the fear that the perfect outcomes we envision could possibly never prove themselves evident, we choose comfort at the expense of discovering all that there is to our own abilities. We device amazing plans, but quickly deviate at the sense of any awry possibility.

We purge our lives of the glory in the journey, forgetting that the experience itself almost always trumps the end results.

It is imperative to recognize the tremendous rewards in simply participating: if not for us, then for all who are observant of us.

“Teach Girls Bravery, Not Perfection,” a TED talk by Reshma Saujani, an American Lawyer, and politician, is leveraging not just for girls, but everyone. It puts much emphasis on being ok with taking a leap simply in the name of bravery. Ms. Saujani highlights the idea that even if one does not arrive at the most favorable results, they would still have confronted their doubts, and discovered much more strengths along the way.

Making perfection the end goal has the might to render us crippled with fear of attaining the reality of something less than perfect. We would then cowardly choose indolence, and reach the end of our lives only to realize that we never really lived.

The ghost-count of books not written, speeches not made, lives not impacted, continuing to overwhelm our archives of “could-have(s).”

So, Dear hidden gems: In skepticism of whether or not taking a leap is worth the outcome, think “bravery,” instead “perfection,”  The origin of starting this blog alarmed by the possibilities of everything going haywire is my way of jumping on this wagon. I hear it guarantees an odyssey of refinement that “perfection” can never measure up to.

So as if there is no next week, once the door of that airplane has been opened, rest assured that your breath alone guarantees the necessity of your footprint. The urgency in fueling your potentials must start at the end of this post.

So on the count of three, dive into that open sky…

or better yet, do it on two.

Bravery not Perfection

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