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Unrequited Love – A feeling, especially love, not returned or rewarded.
Have you ever found yourself in love with the idea of someone loving you, while knowing that they don’t love you back? Deadass, it’s probably one of the most damaging things we can do to ourselves. Loving someone who doesn’t love us. Unrequited love is not attractive and its most definitely not romantic. The sick part is, we don’t even realize that we’re doing it until the damage is done and we are left not recognizing ourselves when we look in the mirror.
I’ve definitely found myself in that position more times than I’d like to admit. I got to a place where I was literally begging for that love in return. In the end, it never came, at least not how I wanted it to. It was cold, it was forced, and it wasn’t authentic. I had to come to the realization that loving someone, without being loved in return is not love. It’s worship. It’s self-destructing. You start questioning your self-worth, thinking that maybe the reason that love isn’t being returned, is you. When in fact, that’s not the case at all. Just like how we can’t help who we love and have feelings for, we also can’t help who we don’t love and don’t have feelings for. Unrequited love is a two-way street, and it’s unfair and selfish to blame the other person for not returning the love we’re giving if they simply don’t feel the same.
Should you ever find yourself in that position, which somewhere down the line you probably will because we’re humans and shit, self-preservation is key. Take that energy away from that person, and put it into yourself, or the person who actually does want to return your love. “Love yourself.” That shit sounds cheesy and cliche, but it’s true. Love yourself until you get to a place where even if someone doesn’t love you in return, you don’t blame yourself, and then once you get to that space, keep loving yourself. One mistake we often make after experiencing that unrequited love, is shutting down. We don’t wanna love anymore, we don’t wanna give love another chance, but we should be doing the opposite. Love wholeheartedly, love endlessly, and love without borders.
If you see something is going bad in the morning, it won’t be good in the evening.
My grandma told me that a couple of days ago. And when she said it, I knew it was a gem. A lot of times I find myself ignoring the bad in someone or something, and making excuses for it in order to continue dealing with it, knowing damn well that I shouldn’t. And then when everything is said and done, and that shitty thing that I knew was shitty and was only going to produce more shit to hit the fan actually does, I can only be mad at myself.
The things that happen to us and around us, half of the time, are allowed by us. We see that something might not be the greatest thing, and we ignore the damning future that comes with it. When I noticed this behavior in myself I first chose to ignore it, which didn’t produce anything positive. Then I started being a little more cautious and being more aware of the company I kept and the things I got involved with. I started making different choices in regards to those things and I found that I’m pretty fucking smart when I actually think about who and what I’m giving my energy to.
Not only am I smart AF, but I’m much happier now that I’m seeing the possible bad in a situation and moving with that energy, without questioning it.
At the end of the day, if something brings you bad energy from the jump, chuck it in the fuck it bucket, and keep it pushin’.
Designer Chuks Collins has combined social causes and bold fashion on the runway during New York Fashion Week. After a second lease on life, the designer founded a nonprofit and for the past several years has presented his latest collections within a fundraising event. Last year’s soiree, The Dream: Fall 2017 Benefit Fashion Show and Silent Auction was in collaboration with Oando Foundation U.S. held at the Angel Orensanz Foundation in the Lower East Side.
Event hosts Claudia Jordan (RHOA, celebrity apprentice) and Hadiiya Barbel (celebrity wigologist and transformation artist) welcomed attendees and introduced Sony music artist SUMMER Williams who performed new music from her EP.
The Chuks Collins collection offers ready to wear fashions for men and women that appreciate sophisticated style and last season the ensembles ranged from modern elegance to casual chic in a handsome array of bold colors. The presentation also included sharing with guests how funds raised would be used in the Adopt-A-School initiative for children in Collins’ home country of Nigeria. The silent auction, courtesy of Charity Grow, provided an opportunity for making a tax-deductible donation in addition to a portion of proceeds from tickets.
Special guest attendees included rapper Peter Gunz, Orange Is the New Black actress Adrienne Moore, Kim Mastroddi, Taneka Bowles, Actor Marc John Jefferies, pop singer Chelley, celebrity stylists TY Hunter and Kidear Youmans.
Black White Beautiful | Black and white fashion has never left the style scene, but the powerful combination has been thrust back in the spotlight in a major way with graphic houndstooth. Virlé Cole, an online vintage fashion boutique, takes a bite out of the trend with retro clothing and accessories featuring a bold, oversize version of the unisex print splayed on distinctly ladylike pieces and silhouettes.
Discover the intrigue of the two-tone print in this photo series featuring a powerful trio of stunning black models showcasing the diverse ways to wear houndstooth. The young women in the images prove a vintage garment can produce a lifetime of glamour. Although some articles were designed before the models were born, they worked the designs in a way that appears modern, relevant and at their peak of chic.
You too can wear houndstooth or simply black and white in a number of ways. Don’t be afraid to layer monochrome pieces or top one print with another like print. As told by the runways, matchy-matchy styles and co-ords are back—just Google 2018 daytime pajama sets, matching bags and shoes, and bodysuits that fit like puzzle pieces to matching bottoms. For a quaint touch, try a houndstooth headband or bow, or pick a mod shift, polished suit, striking coat, or even sexy bustier. Any style you choose, don’t be afraid to own it and walk tall. For more vintage fashion inspiration follow @virlecole on Instagram or visit www.virlecole.com.
Bettina Coleman is credited as the photo shoot stylist and owner of Virlé Cole. She selected the styles and models to inspire young women to wear the clothes of generations before them. She wants everyone to value the rich history and story that vintage clothing offers—not to mention its charm. The one-of-a-kind pieces she sells cannot be replaced by fast fashion chains or even today’s top designers. Her advice to fashionistas: Fall in love with vintage and make it yours forever.
Wardrobe | Virlé Cole – IG @virlecole
Photographer | Adam Jackson – IG @Adamj.photo
Black White Beautiful
I’m sorry fellas, but this is another one for the ladies. I’ve been noticing a pattern in men lately where they want things their way. They have this entitled man complex where things are supposed to go how they see fit, with no concern or care for how us women want things to go. Don’t rush. Lemme explain.
Men have been coming into my life and demanding status, demanding title, and demanding exclusivity when they want it. Now, there is nothing wrong with wanting someone to take you seriously, but when it comes to a partnership, it should be done on both party’s terms. Too many times I have encountered men who believe a relationship should happen when they want it and only when they want it. They start using terms like “Ohh you put me in the friend-zone” …don’t even get me started on that one. Never in a million years did I think that because a man had feelings for me, or saw me as a prospective girlfriend, that it would HAVE to happen right away because he says so. Personally, I’ve been living my life on a need-to-have basis. A relationship is a privilege after accomplishing everything I want for myself spiritually. For me, I could not and would not be in a relationship until I am whole and happy with myself alone.
I say that to say this – ladies (men can listen too), do not let a mate push you into a relationship that you are not ready to entertain. You should deal with people how and when you want to deal with them, not the other way around. Create your own rules and your own path. Make sure whatever changes or decisions that are being made in your life are at the hands of you. And when they are, whoever wants to take part, cool. And those who wanna force you into something you don’t want, girl tell them dudes to kick rocks.
Affected. Something that we, as citizens of the globe, often feel that we must be less of in order to survive. However, Alvin Ailey is reviving ‘Shelter,’ a piece choreographed by Urban Bush Women’s Jawole Willa Jo Zollar, and aims to make us feel just that; affected. Originally performed in 1992, ‘Shelter’ is a “work that frankly addresses the pain and isolation of homelessness,” says the choreographer. The all-female piece reflects not only the struggle but the resiliency of those who are chronically homeless, she notes. Resiliency that, I feel, is part and parcel of the human spirit that we all share. Just as homelessness affects us one and all.
‘Shelter’ is set to debut for the renown dance troupe’s current season in NYC, a place where blatant homelessness is rampant and it is customary to turn a blind eye. As per inspiration for the piece, Zollar remarked that upon settling into NYC in the 80’s she “realized that as a coping mechanism [she] had stopped seeing the people who were homeless… that was [more] dangerous because it was a loss of humanity.” Humanity being all facets of experience, whoever and wherever you may be. I am currently in Barbados, and homelessness is too. While in the city, I had a stranger point out a characteristically homeless man, explain that they went to University together and that he used to be a lawyer. Perhaps knowing the man forced the strangers conscious to acknowledge him, whereas the other people on the street simply passed him by without a glance. I would then ask: must it directly affect us for us to take part in affecting it? A resident New Yorker myself, I have found that turning a blind eye requires us to repress our Souls. To repress the constant call for sympathy as well as the underlying fear of relating. However, the issue and relevance of homelessness cannot be ignored into non-existence. Whether through dance, art, outreach or otherwise, it begs of us to be constantly addressed through awareness and action.
I send energy to the notion that we are not powerless in this matter. Not in aiding those who are afflicted nor in preventing it for ourselves. But our power lies in our ability to give. Not speaking solely of our money or our time, but of our attention as well. In giving our attention to and, therefore, shining a light on the very things that we wish to push into the darkness, the threat of darkness itself disappears. As opposed to our hearts having to do so instead. Especially if Ms. Zollar and the Alvin Ailey Dancers have anything to do with it. So as audiences pack into the plush seats of City Center’s theater, they will be reminded of the transiency of ‘having’. It is indefatigably important to foster contact with our humanity as often as possible; especially to the experiences that we may feel are not applicable to us at the moment. This is exactly what will be accomplished, yet again, with ‘Shelter’. As James Baldwin said ‘…the Artist knows, and must let us know, that there is nothing stable under heaven.”. So yes, it could happen to you. Perhaps it has happened to you already. May there be continuous attention given and inspiration found to address such a prevalent affliction. May we be led to fostering a future where it does not exist. It is possible.
Alvin Ailey 2017 Season happening now.
Release Dec 7 2017 | Vol13 of Taji is packed full of Black Beauty & Culture fulfilling its theme of Virility! This volume’s cover feature is musician, actor, and model Daniel Jones. Gracing the pages are the Editor’s Pick: StockOnyx, premier royalty-free stock content from Black creatives; the Community Spotlight on the elegant soaps, scrubs, and body butters of The Celestine Collection; Sankofa Community Empowerment; our highlighted Hair Feature; “Solo Travel: The Step Before Step One” by D. Carrie; “Spiritual Teknowledge: Intersource” by Jashua Sa’Ra; New Panther: A Call for Action; The Nola D. Collective; “#BlackLoveConvo: “AJ Andrews: Lady With a Golden Glove and Heart” by Dapper Dr. Feel; “Clarifying Credit… the Quick Fix” by NayMarie, our Health & Fitness Advice Column with Trainer Clint & Vegan Fun with Delliz the Chef; Featured art piece by Will Focus; Must Have Graphic Novel: Ayanmo Stigmata by Tyrone Jackson of Sovereign Comics; Black Business Highlights; Taji Mag Model Contest Winners; and more!!
Making Art as easy as ABC’s: Literally.
Presenting artists from different disciplines, each is introduced within the pages of the book as a placeholder for a corresponding letter of the alphabet. Depicted in the bright color and simplicity typical of a children’s book, the illustrations done by Howell Edwards Creative are anything but typical. See for yourself. Available in hardcover and paperback from Amazon (and paperback on her website), the book is described as ‘An artistic tour of the alphabet featuring notable artists from all around the world’. No stranger to accolades, author Dr. Pizzoli is best known for her critically acclaimed previous book, ‘The Ghanaian Goldilocks’, which received several awards. Recently released, her new book is already receiving praises, including a nod from the likes of Afropunk, which is known for lauding black excellence.
This book is definitely going to be in quite a few of my holiday gifts this year. (Insert Oprah GIF here) You get a book. YOU get a book! EVERYBODY GETS A BOOOOOK!!!! Here’s why.
As essential as it is to teach our children the fundamentals of learning, such as the ABC’s, it is also our responsibility to inspire them. Dr. Pizzoli has dedicated herself to enriching the lives of children for years as a teacher and, now, also as an author. It is said that creativity fosters creativity and I believe this applies to life, not just art. The system in charge of educating our children outlines an overwhelmingly narrow path to success that often does not foster individuality nor artistic gifts as a mainstay. So efforts that successfully bring these elements together are worth noting. Talk about #Winning. This book puts into form the notion that we should be encouraging our children to take stock of their abilities and use them to create a life that is rich in texture and depth. It is never too early to show a young mind that it can dream in its own color.
Actually, all of her books encourage kids to live out loud. As an artist and someone who also works with children, I am so here for this! Using what we know to capture their bright-eyed attention, we can begin to mold together their emerging sense of self with their imagination. Not to mention the bonding that comes with reading to a child (cuddles. am I right?) and the fulfillment we get from knowing we are giving them wonderful tools for life. Honestly, I’ll be buying one for myself as well, just as much for myself as to share with the children I care for. You’re never too young, or too old, to be captivated and inspired by Art. Besides, you never know: you might just find out you’ve got a Baby Basquiat on your hands. You’re welcome.
Check out this book and 8 other titles from the Author here.
Social Media Links for the Author:
Facebook: The English Schoolhouse
Until next time, keep reading ya’ll.
Crysta Wicks is a Chicago native and the CEO of The Boss Wife Enterprises Inc., a multifaceted company consisting of real estate acquisitions, self-development, apparel, and social networking events. Her current publication, “Everybody Is Not Made For This”, was written as a self-help book to empower women in every aspect of juggling life. She was inspired to put together a collaboration of her own personal experiences, trials, and life mastery. She created a book that was more than words but a tool that could be used to compose the best version of oneself in an easy to relate to guide. In writing her book, she became the change and value that she wanted to see in the world.
Crysta currently has written three self-help books, one of which is self-published. Her current audience is full of women that share some of the same titles as her – wife, mother, current and aspiring entrepreneur. In most cases, women wear many modified hats which makes it easy to attract and maintain an audience of women.
As she developed her passion and expertise, Crysta fell in love with self-development books. She believes that no matter what level in life people are at, they should always be teachable. One of her favorite quotes is: “When the student is ready the teacher appears.” When I am ready to take things to the next level, I seek out the self-development genre and the teacher appears.
Her future goal is to, with exceeding faith and hard work, turn her masterpiece writing into an unforgettable box office movie hit that her audience will remember with great admiration and appreciation for her skills, talent, and multi-faceted gifts.